


Say Something

by justyrae



Series: You're Never Gonna Love Me [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pining, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2018-01-08 16:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justyrae/pseuds/justyrae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam gets a little sad and calls Harry from a rooftop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Something

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2U0Ivkn2Ds) song, loosely based on [this](http://softneons.tumblr.com/post/73138902798/wilkzyftw-would-this-guy-kindly-step-of-the-roof) picture.
> 
> title from the A Great Big World song of the same name

Liam wasn't feeling like himself. It started before he'd even had one drink, and he hoped that it would've gone away by now. He'd lost count of how many drinks he'd had and that no longer mattered.

He put on a cheery face for his mates, after all he was supposed to be having fun. And he was, at times. But every so often his mind would drift, and then it would settle on something unpleasant that would make Liam start to _feel_ again.

So he drank more, to numb the pain and make it all go away, if only for the night.

Which, he supposed, is how he ended up on the roof. It wasn't until the wind picked up that he felt surprisingly sober, and then he looked down.

He heard the laughs and pleas of the other boys, asking him to come back, come away from the ledge. They were all royally smashed, just as he was, but even they knew what Liam was doing was stupid.

"Just having a laugh," he called back, and they left him alone for a bit.

Liam turned back to the edge, surprised that he wasn't shaking. He looked down again, feeling that same knot in his stomach twist harder as he thought about the drop.

He looked up at the night sky, feeling the wind on his face and he wondered what the fall would feel like. The rush of air against his body, before the inevitable impact.

Liam closed his eyes, suddenly breathing hard as the weight of his thoughts hit him. This was new, he'd never gone this far in his depression. Now here he was, standing on a ledge and looking down.

He fumbled for the phone in his pocket, carefully pulling it out so he didn't accidentally drop it over the edge. _That's all I'd need,_ he thought, _drop the damned phone and probably kill someone._

Scrolling through his contacts, he paused on one in particular. His fingers shook slightly as he pressed it, waiting momentarily for the call to connect.

He hadn't spoken to Harry in days, and he suddenly wanted – no, _needed_ – to.

His mind raced as the line rang. He knew Harry was in the States, and he knew the time difference was quite extensive but he couldn't be bothered to remember at that moment. It was well past midnight in London, so he thought that maybe Harry wouldn't be too busy to take his call.

"Liam!" Harry's cheerful voice echoed in his ears and he choked out a laugh.

"Hi, Harry."

"What're you doing up so late?" Harry laughed.

"Just-" Liam cleared his throat. "Out with the lads, y'know."

"You all right?" Harry's tone of voice suddenly changed from happy to curious, almost fearful. "You sound off."

"I've had a bit too much to drink, I'm afraid." Liam tried to brush Harry's worry off with a laugh, but he didn't think he was doing too well of a job. His throat was feeling tighter by the moment, and he was blinking furiously to keep tears at bay.

"Oh, Liam." Harry sighed and Liam swallowed hard.

"I-I miss you," he croaked.

"I miss you too, Liam." Harry's voice grew softer and Liam furiously rubbed his eyes.

"I don't- dunno why I called," Liam said with a faint laugh. "Just wanted to hear your voice, I s'pose."

"You can always call me," Harry replied. "You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah," Liam's voice cracked and he pulled the phone away from his ear and muffled the speaker so Harry wouldn't hear him stifle a sob. "Y-Yeah, of course."

"Liam, I-" Harry sighed heavily and Liam closed his eyes. "I know we talked about this, but I-"

"I'm fine, Harry. Really."

"But Li-"

"Really," he repeated.

"I still care about you, Liam. Even if…" Harry trailed off and Liam took a shaky breath as the wind picked up again.

"Even if?" Liam hated that his voice raised an octave higher, but there was no hiding it now.

"It wouldn't have worked, Li." Harry's quiet tone was probably meant to be soothing, but to Liam it was torture.

"I know that, I know." Liam sighed heavily, wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand. "I'm just being stupid, is all."

"You're not stupid," Harry replied after a sigh. "Don't say that."

"I am, though. What else would you call someone who's in love with one of his best mates?"

Liam expected a long silence after that, because that's exactly what he'd gotten the last time he'd said it to Harry. He knew it was a bad idea to bring it up again, but then again this whole night was full of bad ideas.

His standing on a ledge was the worst of them all, yet for some reason Liam didn't see it that way.

"Liam," Harry said softly, and Liam hated the way it sounded. His voice was full of pity, and that's not what Liam wanted. If he'd wanted pity, he would've called Louis and had a good cry.

"No, I'm fine." Liam cleared his throat and sighed deeply. Harry started to say something, but Liam was no longer listening.

He was staring down at the street, a thousand feet below his shoes. It seemed so far away at first but now, Liam felt like it would take no time at all.

"Liam!" He jerked at the sound of Harry's voice, much louder than he'd been expecting. He stumbled slightly, breathing heavily as he caught himself.

"Christ, Harry," he gasped. "Don't do that."

"You weren't answering."

"Yeah, well I'm on a bloody ledge so try not to scare me like that again."

"You're- what?" Liam cursed himself at the sound of Harry's concern.

"Nothing, I'm- nothing."

"Liam, tell me you're not-"

"I'm saying goodbye, Harry." Liam sighed deeply. "I'm giving up on you."

"Li-" Liam hung up, turning off his phone before he put it back in his pocket.

He took one step closer to the edge, and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and-

A pair of arms wrapped around Liam's waist and pulled him back, and he found himself on his back with his mates all around him. They all gave him the same worried look and he did his best to put on a brave face.

"I'm fine, lads, really. Let's go inside, yeah?"

Liam knew none of them believed him, but they didn't argue. They all headed for the door while Liam looked over his shoulder once more at the city below them.

His hand brushed over his phone in his pocket, knowing that he'd have hell to pay in the morning. A warm hand grasped his shoulder and he allowed himself to be pulled inside, pushing all thoughts of Harry out of his head. He tried to let it go, reminding himself that it was for the best. Whether he believed it or not, he had to let it go.

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](http://imlouisaf.tumblr.com)


End file.
